Tim Minchin - The Good Book

A# F

life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships

C A Dm Dm/C

and without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift

A# F

so to keep us on our bearings , the lord gave us a gift

C7 C

and like most gifts you get , it was a book

F A#

i only read one book , but it’s a good book , don’t you know

C7 F

i act the way i act because the good book tells me so

F F7/D# A#/D A#m/D

if i wanna known how to be good , it’s to the good book that i go

C7 F

’cos the good book is a book and it is good and it’s a book

i know the good book’s good because the good book says it’s good

i know the good book knows it’s good because a really good book would

you wouldn’t cook without a cookbook and i think it’s understood

you can’t be good without a good book ’cos it’s good and it’s a book

and it is good for cookin’

Dm A

i tried to read some other books , but i soon gave up on that

A# F C

the paragraphs ain’t numbered and they complicate the facts

A D

i can’t read harry potter ’cos they’re worshipping false gods and that

G C

and dumbledore’s a poofter and that’s bad , ’cos it’s not good

morality is written there in simple white and black

i feel sorry for you heathens , got to think about all that

good is good and evil’s bad and goats are good and pigs are crap

you’ll find which one is which in the good book , ’cos it’s good

and it’s a book , and it’s a book

i had a cat , she gave birth to a litter

the kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh

but as they grew they started misbehavin’

so i drowned the little fxxkers in the bath

when the creatures in your care start being menaces

G C

the answers can be found right there in genesis!

D

chapter 6 , verse 5 – 7!

G

swing your partner by the hand

C

have a baby if you can

D

but if the voices your head

say to sacrifice your kid

G

to satiate your loving god’s

C

fetish for dead baby blood

D

it’s simple faith , the book demands

so raise that knife up in your hand!

F A#

before the good book made us good , there was no good way to know

C F

if a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go

so god decided he’d give writing allegoric prose a go

and so he wrote a book and it was generally well – received

A# F C

the telegraph said , “this god is reminiscent of the norse . ”

A# F C

the times said , “kind of turgid , but i liked the bit with horses . ”

A Dm

the mail said , “lots of massacres , a violent tour de force .

G C

if you only read one book this year , then this one is a book

D

and it is good , and it’s a book!”

swing your daughter by the hand

but if she gets raped by a man

and refuses then to marry him

stone her to death!

Em B

if you just close your eyes and block your ears

C G D

to the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years

B Em

then morally , guess what? you’re off the hook

A D

and thank christ you only have to read one book

Dm

just because the book’s contents

A

were written generations hence

Dm

by hairy desert – dwelling gents

A

squatting in their dusty tents

Em

just because what heaven said

B

was said before they’d leavened bread

Em

just ’cos jesus couldn’t read

B

doesn’t mean that we should need

C

when manipulating human genes

G

to alleviate pain and fight disease

C

when deciding whether it’s wrong or right

G

to help the dyin’ let go of life

D

or stop a pregnancy when it’s

just a tiny blastocyst

B Em

there’s no reason why we should take a look

D C

at any other book

G/B

but the good book

A

’cause it’s good

and it’s a book

D

and it’s a book

and it’s quite good!

G G7/F

good is good and evil’s bad

C/E Cm/E

and kids get killed when god gets mad

D

and you’d better take a good look

G D G

at the good book