Tim Minchin - Hello

author : sanger ( tom hodge )

E
hello
B/D#
welcome to my show
D Dsus2
i’m glad that you could come
A
we’re gonna have a hoot
D B/D# E
we’re gonna have some fun

[ notes A3 B3 D3 G3 B3 D3 ]

E
sit back
E/D#
put your feet up and rela
x D Dsus2
i hope you’ve had a drink or three
A
the more you’ve drunk
D B/D# E
the better ill ever be

A
and if you have a mobile phone
Am
please turn it off
E
thank you

A
and if you have tourette’s syndrome
Am E
just do whatever it is you people do

F# A
and if you are offended by strong language or blasphemy
E A B E
maybe you should chuff off home
A E
cos it’s only gonna get worse
A E
only gonna get worse
A
only gonna get worse
E
from now onc * * t

[ notes E2 F#2 G#2 ]

A
my name is tim
D A
i write funny songs and sing
A B E7
and if you don’t think funny songs are funny
A
well i respect your right
D A
to think exactly what you like
A E7 A
but you’re sure as shit not getting back your money

Dmaj7 A E/G# F#m F#m/E
and if you write for a newspaper i’d just like to say
D Dmaj7 A E/G# F#m F#m/E
that i read your publication every single day
Dmaj7 B C#7 F#m
and i agree with absolutely everything you say
Dmaj9 B/D
i think you’re the most perspicacious and delightful , eloquent , insightful writer
A G/A D/A Dm/A
writing on the subject of the arts
Dmaj9
but if you write a bad review
B/D
i promise you i’ll come round to your house
A G/A D/A Bmb5/A
and lay turds in all your potted indoor plants
B11
i’ll lay turds!
C11
in all your plants!
C#11
your indoor plants!

your potted indoor plants!

F#
hello
C#/E#
welcome to my show
Esus2
i’m glad you all could come
B E C#/E# F#
it’s time for a little audience participation
F#
sing , “yeah!” ( yeah! )
E
sing , “yeah!” ( yeah! )
B
sing , “yeah yeah yeah!” ( yeah yeah yeah! )
F#
sing , “ooo yeah!” ( ooo yeah! )
F#
sing , “i Am an audience member!” ( i Am an audience member! )
E
“why are you making me sing?” ( why are you making me sing? )
B
“you self indulgent wanker!” ( you self indulgent wanker! )
F#
“just get on with the fxxking show!” ( just get on with the fxxking show! )

. . . . . .