Tim Minchin - 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos

note : this is not mine , i found it on an internet forum , if you tabbed it A ) thanks B )
sorry C ) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit . thanks!

( A ) E/G#
obviously i don’t want to infer that being invited onto friday night with wossy
F#m E
isn’t wonderfully affirming , and i know i oughta
A
appreciate the risk you took , the bookers who agreed to book
E/G# F#m
E
a chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the bbc in hot water .

A6
and i don’t want to seem greedy , i’m just saying
( E )
i’d like to be here every week if that’s ok .
fo7 ( or E7b9/F )
and , if you’ll hear me out , i think i’ve got a way
F#m E D
in which we could do it pretty easily .
E
you can leave all the boring details to me .
A6 * Eadd2/A * F#m/A *
it’s a brilliant idea , a truly original concept .
A6 * Eadd2/A * E/B
no one in britain has ever done anything like it yet .

picture this – imagine if we had

( A ) E/G# F#m E D
five poofs and two pianos – yeah , it’s a wicked idea .
A E/G#
why settle for a quartet of queers
D/F# E
when there’s a possibility of a penta – poofter – piano – posse here?
( A ) E/G# F#m E D
five poofs and two pianos – yeah , it’ll be ace :
A E/G# D A
a hundred percent more pianos and twenty five percent more gays .

pickup : E F# G#
( A )
i know , i know , i’ve seen the problem too .
( E/A )
there’s a rumour i Am straight , it’s true .
( D/A ) Dm
it hurts to admit it , but i’m about as bent
Dm
as wossy himself or fiddy cent .
( A )
but i’ve already thought it through .
( E/A )
d’you know there’s preachers in america who reckon they can do
D
sxxuality conversions . i’ve heard them assert
D7
they can cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt .
E7
well i don’t see why they couldn’t pull the same trick in reverse , and we’d have –

( A ) E/G# F#m E D
five poofs and two pianos – yeah , it’s a revolution
A E/G#
and probably the best solution
D E
to the problem you’re inevitably having with an even number of homosxxuals .

pickup : E F# G#
( A )
yes i know your producers might suspect
( E/A )
that the licence – paying public will object
( D/A ) D
to the corporation having yet
Dm
another homosxxual to pay .
( A )
the daily mail will bring the big guns out .
( E/A )
jan moir will be frothing at the mouth ,
( D/A )
writing further brilliant stuff about
( Dm ) E
the myth about being both happy and gay .

F#m F#m/A F#m/C#
but all that moral indignation
D/F# A/E
will disappear when they see
D A
those four lovely guys and me
Bm E
singing in perfect harmony .

F#m/A
and all those angry letter writers ,
D/A
like ’disgusted’ from the isle of wight
F#m/A
and ’mad’ from hull and ’outraged’ from leeds
E E7 fo7
and ’slightly annoyed’ from berwick on tweed ,
F#m E D
will instantly change their tune .
A E
they’ll be bleeding – heart liberals by saturday noon .
D
they’ll be giving their grandchildren up for adoption
E E7 fo7
in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt ’em .

F
they’ll be putting rainbow stickers on their cars ,
G E ( bass line – A
E F E G A )
and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides .
and watching 2 pianos and 5 guys
watching 2 pianos and 5 guys
G ( picks up on the G in the bass line )
watching 2 pianos and five . . 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 ,

( C ) G/B Am G F
5 poofs and 2 pianos – yeah , it’ll be grand .
C G/B F C
you can never have too many pianos or too much man .
( C ) G/B Am F
5 poofs and 2 pianos – maybe we could out jamie cullum .
G F C
make it a trio of pianos and a big gay half dozen .