Tim Minchin - 10 Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins

( 4/4 ) Em | Em | B C B | B7 |
| ( 4/4 ) so you’re gonna | live in paradise | with A | ten – foot cock and a few hundred vir |

| Em | Em | B C B | B7 |
| gins . so you’re gonna | sacrifice your | life for A | ride on a ufo . |

| C | c#o7 | D | E7 ( bass movement : E – F# – G – G# ) |
| and when the lord | comes down with his | shimmering chariot of sal | vation |

| Am7 | D13 | G | B – B – B – B – C |
| your gonna be | the first to | know . | |

| B | ( 2/4 ) C – B |
| and so if . . . | ( 2/4 ) |

| ( 3+2+2/4 ) Em | C |
| ( 3+2+2/4 ) god was there from the very | beginning . he invented men and |

| D | B7 |
| women . then he also invented | wanking . then he said wanking was |

| Em | C |
| sinning . so now if i’m feeling | randy i’m not allowed a hand |

| D | ( 6/4 ) B7 |
| shandy , but having sxx with my | ( 6/4 ) family , that is just fxxking |

| C | B | Em7 | E7 |
| great . it’s | all there in ezekiel | 8 just be | fore he opens up his big pearly |

| Am Am – maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# | Em Em – maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# |
| gates and says that it’s A | sin to take it up the | date . even if it’s | great , even with your |

| C | B7 | B7 | ( 2/4 ) B7 |
| mate | | | ( 2/4 ) B7 |
( note run over the third and fourth measures : | E – D – C – B – A – B – C – B – A – G – | F# – E | )

so you’re gonna live in paradise
with a ten – foot cock and a few hundred virgins
so you’re gonna sacrifice your life
for a shot at the greener grass
and when the lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgement
he’s gonna kick my heathen ass

so if you
cover the bodies of your women
everybody is grinning
because black is so slimming
though it’s not great for swimming
but it gives you an erection
with the increased sxxual tension
what with the uv protection
that is second to none
you’ll find it all in the koran
just next to the bit that justifies guns
and says that it’s a sin
to take it up the bum
even if it’s fun
even with permission from your mum

so you’re gonna live in paradise
with a ten – foot cock and a few hundred virgins
so you’re gonna sacrifice your life
for a shot at eternity
and when the lord comes down and i haven’t done my penance
he’s gonna disembowel me

you say that
if i
stumbled on a watch i’d assume it had a watchmaker
that a muffin presupposes a baker
so we must agree sooner or later
this proves there’s a creator
so if i put your foot in a stinker
you’d assume the existence of a sphincter
thus you don’t need to be a great thinker
to conclude that god’s a bum
which negates the words of genesis 1
which make him out to be so much fun
until adam succumbed
to temptation
and then his only son
got nailed to A

| Am Am – maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# | Em Em – maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# |

| Am Am – maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# |
| gum or the middle eastern E | quivalent which suggest that god’s om |

| Em Em – maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# |
| niscience is nullified by his Am | bivalence . unless it turns out that he’s |

| Am Am – maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# |
| impotent and if god can’t get A | boner i guess that euxplains the ple |

| Em Em – maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# |
| thora of huge erections in his | honour . cos we all know a steeple is just A |

| Am Am – maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# |
| subconscious , compensatory | manifestation of a huge , stiff |

| Em Em – maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# |
| penis . and still he tell us that it’s | heinous to stick a penis up your A |

| Em Em – maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# |
| nus , even if you’re | famous even if you like |

| C | B7 | B7 | ( 2/4 ) B7 |
| tennis | | | ( 2/4 ) B7 |

( double time )
| ( 4/4 ) Em | Em | C | B7 |
| so you’re gonna | live in paradise | with A | ten – foot cock and a few hundred vir |

| Em | Em | B7 | B7 |
| gins . so you’re gonna | sacrifice your | life for A | ride on a ufo |

| C | c#o7 | D7 | E7 |
| and when the lord | comes down with his | big , stiff , slimy | rod of judgment |

| ( 6/4 ) Am7 | D13 | Bm7 | E7 |
| ( 6/4 ) i’m gonna | be the first to | go , he’s gonna | send me down be |

| Am7 | D13 | G | E7 |
| low , he’s gonna | whip me like A | ho . d’ya really think | so? |

| ( 4/4 ) Am7 | D13 | G blues thing | G |
| ( 4/4 ) iam gonna | be the first to | go | |