[Verse 1]
B F#
It’s Christmas Eve and I’ve only wrapped two fucking presents
B F#
Christmas Eve and I’ve only wrapped two fucking presents
G#m E
And I hate, hate, hate your guts, I hate, hate, hate your guts
B F# E
And I’ll never talk to you again

[Chorus]
E
Unless your dad will suck me off
B F# E
I’ll never talk to you again
E
Unless your mom will touch my cock
B F# E
I’ll never talk to you again
E
Ejaculate into a sock
B F# E
I’ll never talk to you again
F#
I’ll never talk to you again

[Verse 2]
B F#
It’s Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven fucking hot dogs
B F#
Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven fucking hot dogs
G#m E
And he shit, shit, shit his pants, he’s always fucking shitting his pants
B F# E
And I’ll never talk to you again

[Chorus]
E
Unless your dad will suck me off
B F# E
I’ll never talk to you again
E
Unless your mom will touch my cock
B F# E
I’ll never talk to you again
E
Ejaculate into a sock
B F# E
I’ll never talk to you again
F# B
I’ll never talk to you again