Jonathan Coulton - Kenesaw Mountain Landis

chords

D xx0232
G 3×0003
Em 022000
A7 x02020
A x02220
Bm x24432
F# 244322

verse 1
D G
kenesaw mountain landis was a bad mother fxxker
D Em A7
he was seventeen feet tall , he had a hundred and fifty wives
D G
he didn’t do that much except he saved the game of baseball
D G D A7
he put two and two together and he noticed it was four
D G D A7
now the treachery of shoeless joe can’t hurt us anymore
D G A7 D A ( break )
and he’ll always be remembered as kenesaw mountain landis

verse 2
D G
fellow named joe jackson was a fielder for the black so
x D Em A7
and he always wore his black socks , but he never wore no shoes
D G
he weren’t the nicest fellow and he had a couple problems
D G D A7
cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always acted rude
D G D A7
he killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude
D G A7 D A ( break )
and the one man that he hated most was kenesaw mountain landis

bridge 1
Bm
mafia said shoeless joe
F#
you should really run this show
D
you should be the guy who owns baseball
Bm
and all you really gotta do
F#
is help us make a buck or two
D G A7
we’ll bet on the other team
D G A7
you’ll lose the game but make it seem
D G A7
like nothing could be further from the truth

verse 3
D G
shoeless joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly balls
D Em A7
and he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the eye
D G
and in the seventh inning with the black sox nearly beaten
D G D A7
there was someone who was watching from his blimp above the stands
D G D A7
cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands
D G A D A ( break )
and as if you hadn’t guessed yet it was kenesaw mountain landis

bridge 2
Bm
kenesaw said drop that glove
F#
or i swear by god above
D
i’ll make you regret playing baseball
Bm
shoeless joe looked up and saw
F#
the silver rifle’s gaping maw
D G A7
though no one had noticed yet
D G A7
his underwear was getting wet
D G A7
he peed himself in front of everyone

slow verse
D G
shoeless joe was finished but he couldn’t quite admit it
D Em A7
so he raised his middle finger up above the other four
D G
kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet
D G D A7
and he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his trusty gun
D G D A7
and everybody in the stands knew that he had won
D G A7 D
and today they still refer to him as kenesaw mountain landis

final verse
D G
shoeless joe left baseball and became a famous pop star
D Em A7 D
and he asked the musical question is she really going out with him
G
he had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80’s
D G D A7
but he never won a grammy and he never was the same
D G D A7
and he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim
D G A7 D A7
cause the critics all confused him with the great elvis costello
D G A7 D
yes the critics all confused him with the great elvis costello