Jon Lajoie - Wtf Collective

i tried my best to as accurately write this out as possible . just strum to the beat .
if this isnt done in a way that everyone undertands or doesnt measure up to
“format” here i apologize , this is my first submission to the site .
also , i apologize if my french is not up to snuff ; )
verses :
Am Am
mc confusing back in this bitch
F E
with a parking sandwhich and a chicken ticket
Dm Dm
i got a liquid facelift from a fig with big tits
E E
and my wrist got twisted by a britt with fig spit
Am Am
and you don’t understand it cause you’re not supposed to
F E
like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
Dm Dm
and i’m gonna leave soon , but first i need to
E E
drink a chevy chase face and rape robocop 2
Am Am
yo i’m mc historical inaccuracy
F E
i drop lyrical bombs like hiroshima in ’73
Dm Dm
i write rhymes like shakespeare when he wrote anne franks diary
E E
which is about the civil war from 1812 and germany
Am Am
i’m like the spanish inquisition when they killed jesus
F E
and abe lincoln’s suicide was the theme for my thesis
Dm Dm
like moses when i focus i can split the red sea
E E
like he did in 1950 with the chinese army
Am Am
i’m mc don’t know how to pluralize word ( s )
F E
i’ve got so many rhyme and i sleep with all the girl
Dm Dm
when there’s more than one of something you’re supposed to pluralize
E E
but i never learned that throughout all the year i’ve been alive
Am Am
hello , i’m mc canadian stereotype
F E
i’m aboot to get started , so let me get off the ice
Dm Dm
but i don’t want any trouble and i’m always polite
E E
now hop on my snowmobile and i will tell you what i like
Am Am
but first i’ll turn off curling and turn down avril lavigne
F E
et j’vais dire une phrase en francias , parce qui’ici on est bilingue
Dm Dm
oh boy i fell off my igloo and i hurt my knee
E E
let’s go to the hospital , don’t worry here in canada it’s free , eh
Am Am
mc fatigue did you miss me
F E
i’ll be awake five minutes cause i had a coffee
Dm Dm
i’ll try to get through my verse , but i really don’t know
E E
i had that coffee about five minutes ago

chorus :
Am F
they hired me again to sing this mother fxxkin chorus!
Dm
i haven’t found a fxxkin job yet
E
so i have to do this bull shit ( i can’t take it i’m done )
Am F
i don’t think i can sing another fxxkin chorus!
Dm
i think i’m gonna jump off a bridge
E
or shoot myself like kurt cobain did ( i think my dad has a gun )

verses :
Am Am
i’m mc knows too many facts about bees
F E
50 miles an hour is their average speed
Dm Dm
a queen can lay up to 3 , 000 eggs in a day
E E
just cause i know a lot about bees doesn’t mean that i’m gay
Am Am
i’m also mc in the closet homosxxual
F E
i hide it cause it’s easier to be heterosxxual
Dm Dm
we can’t even get married in most states here in america
E E
it’s fxxked up ( mc canadian stereotype : gay marriage is legal here in canada )
Am Am
i’m mc homophobic fxxking asshole
F E
being gay is evil and it is unnatural
Dm Dm
jesus said to love thy neighbor , but only if they are straight
E E
penises go in viginas anything else is just insane
Am Am
i’m mc extremely inappropriate rhymes
F E
i shake things up like j . fox when i get on the mic
Dm Dm
and i drop my enemies just like christopher reeve’s horse
E E
then i put them to sleep like heath ledger of course
Am Am
woah , i’m mc extremely politically correct
F E
i disagree with the last mc’s lyrical content
Dm Dm
it was : offensive , insensitive , and in very bad taste
E E
just like that guy who wrote that song when michael jackson passed away
Am Am
yo , mc final verse here to end the song
F E
one was enough we didn’t need a sequel jon
Dm Dm
make a fourth “show me your genitals” or another “normal guy”
E E
but for now lets end this stupid song with a suicide

chorus :
Am F
this is the last time that i will ever sing a chorus!
Dm
my dad’s gun was in his closet
E
and i’m gonna end this bull shit ( i had a good run )
Am F
i’m gonna pull the trigger as soon as i finish the chorus!
Dm
syanora and farewell
E
guess i’ll see you all in hell ( 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 )
Am