Half Man Half Biscuit - The Best Things In Life

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my uncle charlie is a cynical man
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and his wife’s a touch sceptical too
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they’ve got one of those stickers in the back of their van
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it says “we’ve seen the prices at the zoo”
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well today i knocked upon their door and said that i was passing
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and charlie launched a scathing attack
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when i asked him what i’d done he said “you stupid bastard
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we live in a cul – de – sac” .
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went to dali’s party it was fancy dress
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i just stuck an apple in my face
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i saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
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reckoned he beat gagarin in to space
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he said “hi there salv , like sorry i’m late
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but i was getting done up as a mogul thrash acetate”
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me i got bored , so i went home
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got into bed and came to the conclusion :
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there is nothing better in life
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than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro ,
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there is nothing better in life
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than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro ,
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there is nothing better in life
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than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro ,
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there is nothing better in life
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than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
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on a saturday night instead of going to the pub .