Half Man Half Biscuit - The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman

( intro D a rpt )
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well i heard a lovely rumour that bette midler had a tumour
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so gleefully i went to tell my friends
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but they said it was a lie and she wasn’t going to die
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and by the way have we got news for you!
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and they told me that the man i had always known as dad
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hadn’t met my mum when i was born
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and they reckon that i Am but i hope to god i’m not
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the bastard son of dean friedman
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the bastard son of dean friedman .
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and my school work fell behind with this bombshell on my mind
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but the art teacher said he understood
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but he could only sympathise with the sadness in my eyes
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even though he showed me his magritte .
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and in the corridors of fear i would shed a lonely tear
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as ridicule flew at me from both sides
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and they mocked me in my mocks and embroidered in my socks
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the bastard son of dean friedman
A D ( instr A D a rpt )
the bastard son of dean friedman .
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supercallifragilistic borussia moenchen gladbach
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and you can thank your lucky stars that you’re
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not the bastard son of dean friedman
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the bastard son of dean friedman