Half Man Half Biscuit - Lord Herefords Knob

E B E
as i camped out one evening to take the midnight air
A B
i heard a maiden grieving from somewhere over there
A E A E
who is it you are mourning; for whom do you wear grey?
A E F# B7
she said i pine for no one – i just can’t pay my way .
A E B E
ever since the chattering classes invaded hebden bridge
A E F# B
and priced the likes of me and mine to the pots of the pennine ridge
A E A E
to south east wales i was forced to flee and now i have no job
A B7 E
that’s why tonight i’m sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .

B E
for you i’d waive expenses to try and help you out
A B
for your beauty influences the landscape hereabouts
A E A E
look up my betrothed at three cocks; be sure she’ll see you right
A E F# B7
while i go up to yorkshire and there avenge your plight .
A E B E
soon reports were filtering through to me the pair were drowning in bliss
A E F# B
i can’t recall having ever been cuckolded quite like this
A E A
i gave up hope ironically for lent ,
E A B7 E
come see me living in a bivvie if you’re ever up pen – y – ghent .

B E
although upon reflection i’ve been a trifle green
A B
i still think with affection on everything that’s been
A E A E
so prepare that fatted calf and string up the bunting gay
A E F# B7
your brisk and bonny ploughboy is coming home today .
E B E B7
and tonight he’ll be sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .
E B E B7
tonight he’ll be sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .

E B
on touching the trig point i found my thrill
E B
to the east brokeback mountain , to the west benny hill
E B
i’ll give you the grid ref – you might like to go :
E B
so2 24350 .
E B
could this be heaven , would that be the severn?
E B
twampa , twampa , you’re gonna need a jumper ,
E B E B7
it gets a bit chilly on top of lord hereford’s knob .
E B E
tonight he’ll be sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .
B7 E
all of our songs sound the same;
B7 E
tonight he’ll be sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .
B7 E
i’m keeping two chevrons apart;
B7 E
tonight he’ll be sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .
B7 E
you’re the reason why paradise lost;
B7 E
tonight he’ll be sitting on top of lord hereford’s knob .