Half Man Half Biscuit - All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit

( intro A# D# A# D# )
A# D#
there was one in the gang who had scalextric
A# D#
and because of that he thought he was better than you
A# D#
every day after school youd go round there to play it
A# D#
hoping to compete for some kind of championship
A# D#
but it always took about fifteen billion hours to set the track up
A# D# A# D# A# D#
and even when you did the thing never seemed to work
A# D#
it was a dodgy transformer again and again
A# D#
a dodgy transformer again and again
A# D#
it was a dodgy transformer again and again
A# D# A# D# A# D#
a dodgy transformer that cost three pound ten
A# D#
so hed send his doting mother up the stairs with the stepladdErs
A# D#
to get the subbuteo out of the loft
A# D#
he had all the accessories required for that big match atmosphere
A# D#
the crowd and the dugout and the floodlights too
A# D#
youd always get palmed off with a headless centre forward
A# D# A# D# A# D#
and a goalkeeper with no arms and a face like his
A# D#
and hed managed to get hold of a dukla prague away kit
A# D#
cos his uncle owned a sports shop and hed kept it to one side
A# D#
and after only five minutes youd be down to ten men
A# D#
cos hed sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger
A# D#
and come to half time you were losing four – nil
A# D#
each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty
A# D#
so youd smash up the floodlights and the match was abandoned
A# D#
and the dog would bark and youd be banned from his house
A# D#
and your travelling army of synthetic supporters
A# D# A# D# A# D#
would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin
A# D#
now hes working in a job with a future
A# D#
he hands me my giro every two weeks
A# D#
and me im on the lookout for a proper transformer errr