[Intro]
C
Dear Uber Driver
C Am
Here’s a few things, you need to know if
F G C
You wanna take this full time woman for a ride

[Verse 1]
C
Hurry don’t be late
C Am
Meet me at the gate
Am
Try not to hit a bunch of speed bumps, while I beat my face
F G
I’m gonna need my light
G
My brows are even right
C
Why you watching me?
C
Oi eyes on the street!
C
Now don’t avert your eyes
C
I’m ’bout to shave my thighs
Am
And if this tuck gets any looser
You’ll see a suprise
F
Don’t play it by the book
G
Go on it’s fine to look
C
Like what you see?
That’s fine have a peak

[Pre-chorus 1]
C Am
You gotta know, first of all I ain’t no lady
F
Matter fact I’m fucking crazy
G C
Bitch you better make that light
GO!GO! What the fuck

[Chorus]
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Here’s a few things you need to know if
F G C
You wanna take this gorgeous lady for a ride
C
(Shouln’t we be using lyft?)
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Lookin’ at me, don’t be so nervous
F G C
Bet you never saw a bunch of air bags look so fine
(I’m too pretty to die!)

[Verse 2]
C
After the show tonight
Am
I’ll be drunk and high
F
So while I’m sober take the address of this Grindr guy
F
Wait while I get him off
G
You know that’s never long
C
By the way your seats
Need Tide and Febreze

[Pre-chorus 2]
C Am
I already know I’m a queen I ain’t no lady
F
Don’t be saying nothing shady
G C
I will read your whole damn life
Listen here you dog ass mole

[Chorus]
C
Dear Uber Driver
Am
Here’s a few things you need to know if
F G C
You wanna take this pretty young thing for a ride
(This isn’t a pool get out of my car)
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Don’t you know you that objects in the mirror
F G C
Might be looking bigger than they do when they’re inside
(Oh, it’s an 8.5 surge)

[Bridge]
C
We’ll be stopping at the red light up ahead
Am
Flash your junk for me and you might get fellatio
F
I’m not too good to try
G
Blowing a taxi guy
C
I’m just a chick
If you don’t mind a dick

[Pre-chorus]
C Am
You got to know first of all I ain’t no lady
F
But I’m fresher than a daisy
G C
Wait I wanna flash that guy
(Hey, hey! Look at these)

[Chorus]
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
Here’s a few things you need to know if
F G C
You want a business from a special [?]
C
Dear Uber driver
Am
If you wanna get that five star rating
F
Get me to the gig
G C
And make sure I arrive alive
(Click it or ticket)

[Outro]
N.C
Uber driver
Now you can zip your fly